Today I had the honor to read for a family who lost their son in a tragic accident.  Mom and Dad both, understandably, lost in grief; unable to see how they were to move themselves forward in life.  For them, time had stood still.  Trying to navigate all the emotions of grief and guilt was obviously wearing them down.  “If I’m not missing him, I feel guilty” was the most prominent thought holding them back and wearing them down.

Their son on the other hand, was on the Otherside trying his hardest to help them through their process.  “It’s about time!” he said to me the moment they scheduled the appointment.  “Games on now – When are we going to be talking to them?”

It all began on a cold winter’s night.

This story actually begins several months ago during a completely unrelated reading.  I had scheduled a session with a young woman who was curious about what I do, and she wanted to understand how it all worked.    After talking about the basic principles of energy work and reviewing how I perceive Spirit, I started to sense the presence of a young man in the room.

“I think you might be a messenger for someone else”, I said to her,  “By that I mean, because you are open, and are here, this young man needs you to get a message to his parents”.

At first, her look was puzzled to say the least, at best it was definitely skeptical – that is only until I started to share his message.  She immediately made the connection and understood the message.  I could tell after the session was over she knew she had a job to do.  I could feel her trepidation but knew in my heart she would do what she felt was right.


Often at the moment I schedule someone for a reading I will begin to pick up the “energy imprint” for them.  That is why I do most of my scheduling over the computer.  It limits the information coming at me before the reading, therefore keeping my slate clean and uncluttered.  These energy imprints can come to me in a ‘floating thought’, or a visual image, or sometimes a loved one will just show up in my house.

The moment I scheduled this appointment for this couple I knew who I was working with.  This young man was back. He was delightful, funny and very anxious to talk to his parents.  As soon as I heard, “Well, it’s about time!” I knew was working with the same young man from that cold winter’s night.

The Message

First, I want to honor the Spirit of this young man who was so determined to help his parents see life through different eyes. To come through with so much clarity for me, twice, so that he could get his parents help is a testament to his strength and character.  From what I understand, that is also how he led his life while he was in the physical.

Second, I want to say that when you are viewing life only through grief you cannot begin to truly honor the Spirit of the loved one who passed.  Grief is normal, and the grieving process is different for everyone – however there does come a time when the shift back into a functioning life must occur.  Even though there is a huge transformation when our physical body dies, and our spiritual body soars,  the essence of who we are is still there. The goal is to find a way to honor the loved one you lost.  What can you do to make sure that the life you are missing still is participating in the betterment of our world?   The shift in perspective that has to happen is to be able to recognize who they were in the physical is  still who they are in Spirit. It is then that you can begin to honor them as a soul who ‘transformed’ to spirit instead of grieving the soul you lost.

The third and final message is that taking care of ‘Self’ is the key to staying connected with those who have crossed over. It is perfectly ok to miss your loved ones, and grieve all while you eat right, exercise, attend important meeting and appointments.  Keeping moments of happiness and joy while you grieve is best because it allows you to find the balance and raise your vibration all at the same time, therefore making it easier for you to connect with those who have crossed over.

Things to help you connect with those you have lost while you are grieving

By adding some of these principles to your life if you are grieving will help you raise your energetic vibration.  We as humans vibrate much slower than that of Spirit, and when we grieve, it makes ours slow down even more.  In order to perceive our loved one’s  we have to raise our vibration so that we can become closer to theirs.

  • Eat right, sleep and get your exercise
  • Find a small activity that makes you smile, even if it is only for a short time
  • Listen to music that might make you think about getting up and having a little dance
  • Play a game, read a book or watch a movie that makes you laugh.  Watch reruns of I Love Lucy or some other silly show that makes you laugh
  • Stay engaged in your friendships, but ask them to also bring laughter into your life instead of the “Oh, I’m soooo sorry”, puppy dog look.
  • Shift your perspective ever so gently from, “Oh I miss you so much how will I go on?” to “Oh I miss you so much, How will I honor you today?”

Thoughts from the Medium

The unprofessional part of me wants to say this: Spirit Frick’n Rocks!  They are reaching out, helping and interacting with us all the time even if we are totally ignoring their guidance.

The professional part of me says this:  When we make a commitment to raising our vibration, even if we are unsure of what we are doing, Spirit will be there to guide us.  By remaining open to the possibility that our loved ones are reaching out even though we don’t quite understand how that could possibly be, it supports their efforts and allows the seemingly “impossible” to become “possible”.

I have been honored to be a part of this family’s journey, to be able to gently guide them and offer them a glimpse into what is to come.  It is my deepest wish that soon, they will be actively honoring their son presence in a new way because I can tell you this…he won’t give up until they do.

Letting go of grief, shifting perspective and determination.